The death of Mr. Me

Man of God once told me that God won't entrust something to me until He can trust it through me.

I so desperately want more of God. I hunger to move in power, to see the sick healed and the lost saved and those held in bondage delivered. Yet, I'm often despicably lazy and self-centered.
At times he's called me to step out and pray for people but I've been too afraid of men. At times He's called me to pray but I was too caught up in myself to see the need in another or to hear His sweet voice calling me. It really comes down to the question of whether or not I'm willing to die to self that He might have my all. John the Baptizer cried out, 'Lord, you must increase and I must decrease.' and what happened next? He gets imprisoned and then has his head cut off? Am I willing to do the same? Do I really want to love and serve people or do I want the glorified life of a minister in the public eye?

So many questions... the bottom line is that God neeeds to do a major work on my character. I have so far to go. I want to cry as Paul cried out, 'I am crucified to the world and the world crucified to me.' Please Lord Jesus do such a work in me!